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There's hidden sweetness in the stomach's emptiness.
We are lutes, no more, no less. If the soundbox
is stuffed full of anything, no music.
If the brain and belly are burning clean
with fasting, every moment a new song comes out of the fire.
The fog clears, and new energy makes you
run up the steps in front of you.

When you fast, good habits gather like friends who want to help.
Fasting is Solomon's ring. Don't give it
to some illusion and lose your power,
but even if you have, if you've lost all will and control,
they come back when you fast, like soldiers appearing
out of the ground, pennants flying above them.
A table descends to your tents, spread with other food,
better than the broth of cabbages. -Rumi


I love to cook, not for myself, I think I'd rather starve then cook a full meal for myself, but I love to cook for another. To put my love into your favorite dish, to pour my child's song into your favorite soul. To prepare a memory between you and I that will make your heart sing, your eyes see, your breathe's sacred echo whisper to you in memories alone between us and forever.


Is it true that serving others is the most selfish thing you can do? I thought to myself. Then in my minds eyes my lover replied: Yes Yes it is true. For nothing has helped you more then the service of you.


You don't pay back, you pay forward. -Robert A. Heinlein


I believe this, except with a good bargain or deal, and except when a woman goes after a mans money she hasn't somehow earned rights too. Yet thinks she can break his back for vindictive reasons. If a man cheated on me, ill just cheat on him if I must to get over it. I don't want to burn the person that loves me to the ground for being human. Women that pretend they are independent but smoke a man, what is wrong with you? STOP BEING HYPOCRITES? I mean if a man was truly a son of a bitch I would understand, but men like those don't get burned by woman, they have woman that don't even want there money or anything from them in a divorce. True victims are true victims in that they want nothing.


Everybody has an ego. And yours is not more important then theirs. -Me


Correct Moral Conduct for a Artist; Inspired by Maria Abromovic

1) An Artist is Interdependent, Independent and Dependable.

2) An Artist has common sense and a loving sensibility.

3) An Artist can not control his / her life.

4) An Artist can control his /her work.

5) An Artist has more of less.

6) An Artist is Sensual.

7) An Artist is honest.

8) An Artist is a responsible to themselves.

9) An Artist needs solitude for long periods of time.

10) An Artist is sensitive to others as well as themselves.

Ive always believed in such humble artist, these beautiful creatures that rarely pass you like delicate, exotic, one of kind rare birds. When you tell them, if they were the most talented to probably walk amoungst you, would they believe you? They become bashful when told they are Artists they flutter for a moment before there humanity seeps in. And while lets just say they believe within their souls that they are not the inventors of art but rather art in and of itself. Bless them, for all those whom walk among us in their innate, unknown virtues.


Its the ways you do things, not what you do, that makes everything you.


He who seeks truth shall find beauty
He who seeks beauty shall find vanity

He who seeks order shall find gratification
He who seeks gratification shall be disappointed

He who considers himself a servant of his fellow beings shall find the joy.
He who seeks self expression shall fall into the pit of arrogance.


Sometimes I hate you, only so I can love you twice as much. -journal


I'll do it for you, I'll make that mistake for you baby blue.


Invariably, you go forward baby and don't worry about not leaving a mark you are an indelible species my love. (said my mother to me) I wish.


Very few times has there been a popular voice of truth through the nomenclature. But don't let what you see devise you from the possibilities of hope. And when you feel hopeless and start to loose faith in the world, look at how far we have come!? From the lands before time to the paleolithic, neolithic and antediluvian. Yet still do not let the ways of this world hinder you. We've come long ways and we will go even further. There is no doubt! For there is no such thing as going backwards in time. Even you're last breathe is history my love.

--- journals.

Evr I long to surpass the spaces between our kiss. Like justice and avarice this space does not fit, as I have waited four billion two thousand and thirteen years for your return, I miss. ( Mother earth noord to spirit.)


Come! you are great expectations. Heaven is an unfolded nation. So give us a place so we can be they said... To which he replied: "You are an adobe of the empyrean the nascent Elysium, can you imagine?. Spirit: This idea that came to life out of the behemoth and apocryphal from the archaic through you and me... -from one of my songs, that will never go anywhere. But I dont care, ambition is silly.


Questions asked by Markus:

You look like lady gugu!

Is that a questions?.

Ive heard her and Cher before she fixed herself up. I don't mind being the less attractive version, we are like minded in some many ways. When I was younger it made me inquire why people would say I looked like anyone?... But I look at artist sometimes and realize it must be hard for them, to be idolized to the point of inhumanity. No ones honest to them and the only ones that are, are mean just to be assholes to them. I don't like that.


Questions asked by Mike:

Who are you? Well this is depressing. I guess I am Maha, born of a broken home, from a broken up tribe. of a broken family, Of the many brown hearts of Diaspora.

What do you want in life? I'm resolute thats no-ones business, its not even my own. I don't even think anyone really knows that. Except maybe I do, but thats a problem.

Why did you want to be a singer? Bc I saw singing as the pinnacle of joy, and I wanted to live a life of joy. But listen to this instead. I thought if I can sing I can find angels in prayer.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oME2KfYef90 (That means copy paste this ^). For challenged people! :-p


Tell us something something that we would not know about you?

I smell like spring. I'm an animal whisperer. Was born on a day that translates to larger then life, March 8th ofcourse... j.k not really though.



Monkey business and Obscurantism... We have people in jail for 20yrs over piracy stipulations, or having marijuana grown from the earth on their properties.
Then we have people getting off rape charges on technicalities... That's politics for you. Broils for riff raff ego and pride. But besides the dark side of politics, I believe in the law. I believe in justice. and in-fact respect the law as much that I studied law at UC Berkeley in honors.


I tried death so many times. It seems death does not want me. I'm no good for it yet I suppose. I think its because God knows I haven't lived my life and he doesn't want me to go without living it. But Im so tired of the cycle. Its sweet of him, but it pisses me off that its really not made easy for someone to take there own life. And I think the natural design made it that way for a reason. Id like to think the reason is that the people that want to die, deserve the least to die.


What do you think about gay rights?

I think if gay people choose to get married then they should be able to. How is it ok for peoples personal choices in life to be intervened with by an unequal man made law? And why is it anyone else's business who a person decides to make love to?

Whether some parts say being gay is a choice and some say its not. I think it doesn't matter and its non of anyone's business. Its not your business who people wish to love!!

We are all people here, we all have choices to make. Were all doing our best. And people should have the right to choose what they need and what they want in life.

I dislike when people act like they deal the cards here. We don't deal our cards! You just born in to them, then you play the percentages and hope for the best.


Have you loved a woman?

I have...But I don't need to have sex with a woman in order to love a woman.I loved her from a light and from a far, in a way where she'll never know who we are. I suppose when I love like a kindred I love in secret, like the only person that will bomb fire someones ass to blow you out of a jail cell if you were ever caught in prison.


Question by Nick:

Are you a believer?

O I believe in Everything. Its probably bias to say atheist or any thing a label can afford you, I suppose a believer is enough to say. I don't know what God is.
And I don't believe in mind control of any kind. I encourage people not to glum onto religion of a sect of any kind. but rather the goodness in morality and understanding.

God is God and people probably will never know what that really is in our life times. So people can stop pretending they do know when they really don't! A-lot of people are pushing their beliefs on others when the spirit is Amorphous. Its in us all. If there is anything our spirits have promised to us in this life. It is to hopefully love before we surrender to death or fall.


James Lipton:

Hold on-- (Frightened look in Gods eye's) I can explain everything!!! :-)


Micheal: So I hear you're a Tiger Trainer?!!!
Artist/Writer/maybe Director someday /Producer/Songwriter/Actor/ Model/ Yoga instructor and one too many things, legal consultant and of them a Singer.

I do to much and think to much, and worry to much, and know to much. Its hard to deal with.


Questions asked by Gabriel looking in my photo albums:
You tiny thing used to train tigers and lions?

These animals were my friends.

They do make you nervous. It's just that I deeply cared for and loved them. So I confronted them with the same love and courage at moments that maybe even a naive child has when they are fearless for not knowing fear. Its still one of the worlds most dangerous jobs because your dealing with the wild. I just remember it being natural to me like I had an affinity with them, like I knew them all a life time ago. The smells takes a while to absorb. Thats how you really get in there energy field, you got to not care about your human senses. I spoke to them by observing there eyes. You speak to animals without words. I was one with them.



What are you proudest of? A March to Compassion I sponsored. Saving a mans life from a 9 foot grizzly bear in a bear attack job that was a fraction of a second of Dakota testing Randys nick. Dakota was a bear he had a-lot of pint up power and energy. He lives in the mountains. He's still alive, he was a sweet bear, such a winny the pooh bear lickin me through the fence.



What kind of person are you?

Good question, I don't think I know...Mysterious, free spirited, wild and shy maybe. But definitely playful. Let me see... who am I, definitely a girl with a chastity belt, a bow and a knife on her thigh, not to hurt you, but to remind you what it feels like whenever you might want to try to hurt me. I choose my humanity I guess, by choosing who I am and who I love.

I love like a mother and child and "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." All at once. That Quote is by-(Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto) He named his pen Paublo Neruda thats not the authors real name though. He liked to write in green colored ink. He despised writing in black for superstitious reasons I believe.


Hobbit hobbies?

My sports are horse back riding. Archery and target shooting. but Im poor and only got to enjoy myself doing those thinks maybe 3 times in my entire life. Don't ask me why?. but since the first time I was shot a gun, the first bullet and all the ones after were target shots. I was hooked, thinking I figured It was something I was meant to do... Be an assassin of-course!... :-p Just kidding... It's just an addictive sport, the thrill of being good at something. I think I would Murder Joseph Kony though. but then I would remember when my mother got excited to teach me something from her Quran: She said God taught us here that If you kill a soul it is as though you killed all of humanity and if you saved a soul it is as though you saved all of humanity.

Have you read "Girl with the dragon tattoo?" You can say I'm like that, without the tattooe's and self mutilation and without being a total tom boy. but like her in the sense that I dont believe in the justice system on its own without people helping themselves, thats why I studied law, after being arrested and experienced my own injustice it made me so angry for everyone who was alone in the world.


What are your responsibilites you feel?

Owww, good question.

I think its to serve you in knowing your possibilities.



Any tatto's? No, I was born with a natural tattoo on my legs. A map for when I get lost in the woods. They glow in the dark., wanna see? :-p (venez faire une promenade dans la forêt)

I wanted to get two quotes from a poem on my rib cage under my breasts in 2oo7 where you wouldn't be able to see it exceot myself. Until a friend said: Would you put a bumper sticker on your baby?

I said no! To which she replied...Then why put it on your body?

That girl changed my life forever. So I got a piercing instead. At-least I can remove that.

Yeah Im a real whore! one day I want to be one of those :-p


I love babies, I love carrying them, playing with them, touching there tiny toes and fingers while I watch them as they breathe, awww I can eat them!!! I remember breast feeding my nephew. I didn't tell his mother, but I felt in a sad way that was me saying goodbye to Joseph, deer Yousef.

Like the sercret of breathing correctly. And how nature seems to hide and bend for innocence. I see it all the time. Energy just morphs to be an emissary for purity.


I didn't speak until then, even then I minded my own business. I remember thinking I was communicating with everything though. I was just doing it telepathically, so now I can understand why I must of seemed lonely and misunderstood as a kid. I communicated like an animal without words. Then I ran away from home. Found myself to be an animal whisperer at 17. Maybe a living Artemis I hope :-) I trained tigers, lions, bears and people doubt me. I colored my house walls with crayons and maps since I was 6. Wanted to be an actor when I was 8. Then when I saw MTV I wanted to be Micheal Jackson of-course!!!


When I finally left my favorite home, the mountains, it was like the spirits dragged me out against my will, I cant remember how or why I left. But I think it was because I went to college. I trained myself in what I wanted to do. So I trained in Acting. Minored in Theater arts and majored in Liberal Arts, took all the acting courses I can afford. Was a teacher assistant, tutor, art department janitor for work. But till this day I can't find an agent to scam me into a scam industry that probably relays on nepotism, friends and who you know. Instead of talent. Then I kept walking on the earth unhappy and directionless, hopes and spirits of optimism and believe broken. Then everywhere I looked a bunch of gentlemen offering to open my door. The age where I never heard the truth anymore when all I got were eyes trying to get into my pants. I enjoy spending time alone. And the Irony! My father doesn't even talk to me for believing I want to be a damsel. I don't mind though, he wasn't any influence I miss in my life, I rarely remember but a few tender moments in my life with him.


Let me tell you something. The truth is voiceless.


What will you remember of me?


You have two eyes, two ears and one mouth so use them in that order.


When you invest in a girl you invest in a community. .


When I see an albino bunny. I think of myself. I think of when I was a little girl and I caught a few white hairs in the front of my hair line! What?? It reminds me of when I was a kid I had this weird white or extremely blonde albino baby hairs that shined in the sun growing in a clock wise circle motion in the center of my forehead, I guess I grew out of it, I always wondered what on earth that was? I tried to tell people I was the last unicorn. but they didn't listen.


I really dislike when people tell me to be realistic like I'm some delusional mutant. My reality is what I make it asshole. -M Aug, 4, 2013


You can't give me what you don't have because you can't get what you don't give.


Almost everybody knows how to read now but still they don't know how to read, why don't they at-least read the obvious though?


I get lonely, I don't have friends, maybe because I love everyone...


I am writing this in my storage room, this room was actually supposed to be a massage room in a barbershop. It doesn't have any windows it was difficult for the owner to rent the space out to a massage therapist. so he let me live here inexpensively. It was all I can afford at the time. I just moved to the city of lost angels and am currently jobless. I hear helicopters above me in the city. I have lost my home even though I never really had one. I always felt homeless anyways.


Living is a prayer.


I don't want to change the world, I want to be apart of it, to be the world, to be a world, isn't that what every girl wants? I just want to be.


I believe people are all the same. Its what we want that only makes us different.


I wish I had diamond skin. Who could hurt my feelings then?


When I was suicidal , lets just say I still struggle with being self destructive. But after running away from my abusive partner, I thought to myself, god I wish I could just disappear when I want. I became friends with my cab driver that day. Then he shared with me his own mare of when he was a kid and said. Hey you, your know were all suffering. So why not join us instead. I never thought of it that way.

I pray to God that he helps me want to to join the living instead of the dying.

Its just hard you know. Its hard to live in this world, unloved with a huge family who cant seem to be kind to you or do or say something loving to you. Ive always felt like an orphan but for reasons beyond me, I know orphans probably have it better not knowing what they don't know instead of knowing what they do, then they know even more no one cared much at all.


You are not alone...I am alone with you.


Article written about Maha

What does Maha mean? (Urban Dictionary reference 2012)

Divine, beautiful, kind, great fashion sense, and in love with all the wrong guys. Keeps her relationships private. Arabic for full moon and also mean's beautiful eyes or deer eyes or has large eyes. Loyal to her friends and true at heart. Serious and mature when first met, hyper and life of party. Referred to someone with a strong spirit. Known to have a powerful connection with the supernatural and nature. Can be weird but lovable. Makes plenty of mistakes even though careful. Forgives easily and can't hold grudges. A Maha usually has a kind heart and a smile that lights up the world, but if you piss one off, she will kill you. Has uncanny love of music. Brave and bold, it takes a lot if anything to bring her down. A Maha is smart but has her blonde moments. Means young deer in Persian, and full/ cresent moon in Latin "look there is a Maha in the sky tonight."
"Her eyes are so Maha." "She's so brave, definitely a Maha."
In India it means something Divine or Supreme Being, a sort of fifth element Lilu of middle earth. As they refer to the Maha Ghandi they place the word Maha before Ghandi to say the supreme being or Great Ghandi. Sheba in Yemen they refer to her as Maha for Queen/Angel of the moon or night. Lets just say she is a naughty bad girl usually without any tattoo's to prove it because she's larger then life and doesn't care if you like her or not.